you rush onto an escalator, and just stand there.
you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
you think $17US isn't such a bad price for a new paperback.
you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
when the first option you buy for your car is a TV set.
you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
you think the opposite of red is white.
you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
when you squat waiting for a bus to come.
you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can't bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan 'all about Japan'.
you automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.
you think every foreign movie title contains the word 'love.'
people stop complementing you on your Japanese, and start asking you where you had your nose and eyes done.
you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.
you think birds cry.
you are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never see her again.
you think its cool to stand in the "Japanese only" line at Narita Immigration.
you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream.
you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
.. your mother talks about "you foreigners."
your children call you Otosan/Okasan.
you've never even been skiing, but the ski rack looks great on the car
you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
your top is thinning and you consider it "barcode style".
you think nothing about seeing 20 ads for women's' sanitary napkins during one movie.
you think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?".
you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.
when you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of "Vermont curry".
you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
you are only slightly puzzled by "Melty Kiss."
a
new Gaijin moves to your neighborhood and you know immediately you will get
his mail for a while.
you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: "Hurry up! 10 cars now in quick succession, and then we'll think about slowing down."
when you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken.
when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply
and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.
you have a favorite bush to pee behind.
the TV commercials make sense to you.
a gaijin sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?
when having gaijin around you is a source of stress.
you have over 100 small, transparent plastic umbrellas in your entrance even *after* donating 27 of them to taxis and JR recently.
when you pay over 6000 yen for a lipstick and realize a few days later how much you really spent.
you can't have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.
when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
when you rush home from work to catch the last few minutes of sumo.
when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
you return the bow from the cash machine.
you can't find the "open" and "close" buttons in the elevator because they're in English.
when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.
you fully understand the concept of "cuteness"
you look forward to the porno reviews at midnight on Fuji TV.
when you believe that the perfect side dish to eat with a juicy, deep-fried pork chop is a pile of raw, tasteless, shredded cabbage.
you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
"natsukashii" comes out of your mouth instead of "what you're saying makes me so nostalgic that I must look like one of those wide-eyed manga characters with a tear rolling out of my eye."
you run for the Yamanote line pushing people left and right, jump on the train holding the doors open to let your bag follow you on. Because you know there will not be another one for at least a minute.
when you accompany your "no" by waving your hand in front of your nose.
when you're impressed with a girl with a 94cm bust.
when you let your car idle for half an hour while you go shopping.
you buy an individually wrapped potato in the supermarket.
you think that "Lets SPORTS yOUNG gAY CluB" is a perfectly normal T-shirt logo for a middle aged lady.
you have to pause and translate your phone number into English before telling it to someone.
when you forget to hit the bilingual switch while watching Clinton on the TV.
you think sushi at a baseball game is perfectly normal (also applies to "too long in California").
you forget about July 4th, but get all worked up over Tanabata.
it takes you three attempts to fill in a check correctly.
you have to think about it to remember what a 'check' is.
when you develop the fine sense of Japanese manners that prevents you from facing traffic when peeing outside.
you enjoy drinking until you vomit.
you remember when telephones were almost always placed near the front door and next to them was placed a little box to receive 10-yen coins from people who stopped by to 'borrow' your phone.
you notice you've forgotten how to tie shoelaces.
when you are talking on the telephone to your parents and your father says, "Why are you interrupting my explanation with grunts?"
you start thinking can-coffee tastes good.
you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like 'building'.
you think the opposite of red is white.
you think every foreign movie title contains the word 'love.'
you think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut-brained bimbo.
when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.
you return the bow from the cash machine.
you have a friend who lives in an apartment building called CREME SODA.
back home, you are disappointed when Domino's doesn't have corn pizza.
you claim a seat at a Wendy's by putting your bag on it, fully expecting it to still be there when you return with your burger.
you are willing to travel enormous distances just to take a bath.
you mistake ownership of equipment for possession of skill when discussing your hobbies.
you go home for a holiday and ask your dad which rubbish bin to use for burnables.
you feel perfectly normal stepping out of a bank with $50,000 in cash in a cute paper bag in one hand, and a box of soap in the other.
you have mastered the art of run-walking to create that important busy image.
you think there is something vaguely sinister about open spaces, healthy trees and grass.
you walk through your neighborhood, and a house that was there yesterday is gone without a trace, and you don't blink.
you have learned the art of riding a bicycle while holding an umbrella over your head.
when you are uncomfortable using the word "bathroom" for "toilet" since they're really totally different.
back in the states for a short visit you patiently wait outside your taxi for its door to spring open for you.